A Letter to My 21 Year Old Self

Dear Kelsey,

The life you are living currently isn’t it.  You’ve been spiraling for years and I promise you, it’s almost over.  Those that have a hold on you, will fall.   You will rise.  Ten years from now, they won’t matter and you will thrive.  

The partying, the drinking, the bars and clubs amount to absolutely nothing in the long run.  They will bring you only suffering.  But that suffering is what makes you strong.  That suffering keeps you going.  

Right now you don’t know your self worth.  Right now you are at rock bottom.  But now is your time to start climbing out of that hole.  And that guy you’ve been dating for the past six months?  Let him help you.  He’s going to be around for a while.

There’s no shame in asking for help.  Start now.  Or you’ll never be able to without feeling an immense amount of guilt.  

Keep working.

It’s more than just a gas station.  You’ll be glad you did.  But don’t overdo it.  Take the time you’re given for yourself.  Some things are bigger than work.  Some things are bigger than money.

Your family isn’t so bad.  Things are without a doubt rocky at the moment, but they smooth over.  Forgive them.  They’re human.  You will come to find out that their mistakes are forgivable.  They will be there for you in ways you wouldn’t believe.  They will step up and prove themselves.

You will find love.

Love for yourself and love for others.  Your hard shell will soften and you will allow yourself to be loved.  You will learn that unconditional love exists.  Embrace it.  Don’t fight it, no matter how strong the urges to self sabotage are.  

I know you’re in a dark place.  I wish that I could convince you it gets better.  It would save you a lot of heartache, it would stop you from making a lot of stupid mistakes.  But that’s life.  You live and you learn.  Keep climbing.  You’re going to be pleasantly surprised where you end up.

Sincerely,

Your future self

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