Does Being a Working Mom Make Me a Bad Mom?

To a working mom like myself, 3:00 AM comes awfully quick every Monday morning.  After a few snooze button smashes, I roll myself out of bed and drag myself to my beauty room.  [Also known as my closet attached to the master bath].  As I begin getting myself ready for my workday, I can’t help but think “Do they really need me today?”  

I work a fixed schedule.  It never changes.  Forty eight hours a week – every week.  Minimum.  Let’s throw in drive time.  Now we’re up to fifty five and a half hours.  That is the minimum amount of time dedicated to work. That’s not including the time it takes to get ready.   That does not include any times I stay and work extra overtime [which happens frequently].

So when I’m asking the question of do they really need me, I am actually asking, “Does my family need me?”   The answer to both questions is “Yes”.  People at my job depend on me to show up and keep order, make sure things get done properly.  My family needs me to go to work to keep the lights on and food in their bellies. 

When I discovered I was pregnant with my first, my husband and I discussed our options at length.  [Financial options.. stay focused]   I had already set myself on a career path and was nearly ten years in.  At the time, he was trying to establish his own business.  Child care was [and still is] outrageously priced.  Dare I even say overpriced?  But how do you put a price on someone else taking care of your child?  And let’s not talk about the weekly horror stories on the news about what goes on behind the closed doors of these facilities. 

For our situation and each of our positions in life, my husband selflessly sold every piece of his business off.  He cashed in and we later used that money to buy our second home.  [But that’s a story for another time.]  We decided he would be a stay at home dad and I would be the main provider.  My money was steady, I had great health insurance, still opportunities for advancement, 401k; it just made sense.  

Fast forward six years, one more child, house number three, another promotion; we stuck to the plan and it just worked. I am a working mom. Admittedly , there are just some days that are harder than others.  I feel the guilt of missing out on moments.  I feel the exhaustion of a long, physically demanding work week.  I feel the financial strain of pouring every paycheck into providing.  But I also feel the love as my boys run full speed to hug me upon my return.  I feel the warmth of our own home, not some shared, overcrowded apartment.   I feel at peace knowing my boys are safe with their father and not being raised by strangers. 

According to the U.S. Department of Labor Blog, 70% of mother’s with young children are in the labor force, with 75% of them working full time.  And even still, 40% of them are the primary or sole providers for their household.  Seeing these numbers makes me realize I am not alone.  And neither are you!   As mothers we need to hold each other up, keep each other strong.  Ladies, we already sacrifice so much of our time, there’s no time to be down on ourselves.  

Are you a full time working mom just trying to make it for your family’s sake?  Are you struggling in your feelings?  Do you have any advice for other moms out there maybe going through similar things?   Or are you just looking for a friend that you can relate with?   Leave a comment down below!  I’d love to hear from you!

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